The presence of a husband at birth
The idea to write this article came to me from personal experience. I, like many, suffered a delicate question for women: whether to be a husband at birth, whether he will have a place there and what he will do if he gets there.
I panicked fear since childhood. Including thanks to non-life-affirming stories of mothers and all those who gave birth in the distant past.
It seemed to me that any birth is a real hell and a one way ticket. Naturally, in such a psychological state, it was very difficult to properly prepare for childbirth and digest all the information needed for a woman in labor. And so I really want that those women who are preparing to become a mother for the first time and really worry about this for the first time, I can say, I am writing now for those alarmists, which I myself was recently. But besides this important psychological aspect, partner labor has many other advantages and advantages, as well as difficult moments that also need to be taken into account.
For the first time partner births appeared in the 70s of the last century. Many associate the emergence of partner childbirth with the sexual revolution and the mass hippie movement. Nevertheless, it should be noted that partnership births are the result of spiritual rapprochement in families.
Preparing for partner childbirth for a woman it is important to understand that during childbirth the physical and psychological collaboration of partners takes place. One must live and feel childbirth in unison. Therefore, determine for yourself in advance: how much you can trust the chosen partner and whether this partner is ready for the responsible mission. After all, his condition (preferably calm and confident) will be transferred to you. And if the same husband falls into a shock and stressful state, then it will not be easier for you at this difficult moment.
The presence of a husband at birth: the arguments that say "YES"
1. Many doctors believe that the presence of a husband at birth reduces the number of complications. First, the woman feels moral support, the husband helps to calm down and finds the right words. Secondly, a man can help not only morally — if he prepared in advance, he will give you an anesthetic and relaxing massage.
2. The presence of a husband guarantees the politeness of doctors. Often, women are faced with the severity of doctors in the hospital (maybe sometimes it is really reasonable). Therefore, the fact that a close person is near, who can protect in case of anything and control the process, calms and removes unnecessary nervous tension.
3. Attachment to the child is formed from the first minutes. Some psychologists suggest that if the father was present at the hospital, his relationship with the child is stronger.
4. Relationships in the couple become even closer. After such a vivid experience, you and your beloved will become more trusting of each other and get as close as possible.
Childbirth with husband: arguments "against"
1. The process of delivery may be delayed. Not always a man is able to give the necessary support. It happens and vice versa — he will be nervous, you too, and childbirth will be even more difficult and longer than they could. Therefore, in advance to assess the possible risks and, above all, the readiness of the husband to go with you to the hospital.
2. Your sex life may be spoiled. Yes, a man will see you in the most unattractive way that can only be. The shock that your husband will experience in childbirth may be too strong. Think carefully: are you ready to reveal all the secrets to him, or do you still want to remain always an attractive and somewhat mysterious wife?
3. You are moving away from each other. We just wrote that you get close. But it happens not at all! If you put pressure on your husband, forcing him to go with you, or he just turned out to be too susceptible, nothing good will come of it. He may faint, begin to feel guilty and sorry for you, from which your relationship will become worse.
Tips for men with partner childbirth:
1. If the decision is made to give birth together, then it is better to prepare in advance for childbirth. Visit special courses, read literature.
2. Let the wife feel your support and confidence in a successful outcome. Do not get lost, take a book about pregnancy and childbirth. Read to his wife so that she knows what is happening to her now.
3. Watch her breath. Show by example how to breathe properly during labor and delivery. Stroke or massage your belly and lower back (if you have mastered the massage technique).
4. During attempts, hold your wife by the hand or caress the face and head, say gentle words to her. Breathe and push together.
5. It is not necessary to look «at that very place,» you can stand at the head of the laboring room.
6. Do not meddle with doctors with your advice, but do not show complete indifference to their actions. Carefully follow their recommendations. Do not be rude and do not panic.
7. If you feel that you can no longer observe what is happening, leave the premises so as not to distract the doctors.
8. Be prepared for the unexpected behavior of your wife. If she asks, leave her alone and do not let her worry too much.
9. If you think that you don’t have a place in the delivery room, you still want to be with your wife at such an important moment, stay with your wife during labor. And during childbirth, wait until the baby is born somewhere behind the wall.
10. If the wife insists on a joint birth, and you are opposed to this undertaking, do not give arguments that may seem inconclusive to a pregnant woman. It is better to explain that you can not control yourself and refer to the weak nerves.
Advice to women who decide to give birth with her husband
If you still decide to give birth with your husband, then weighed all the pros and cons and evaluated the possible consequences.
In this matter, the most important thing is the desire of the husband, his initiative. By persuasion and coercion to push for it is impossible. And it is also impossible to set an example for other families. The reaction of her husband, you can not predict.
Yes, and if you need a husband at birth? Maybe you will be more comfortable if there is a mother, sister or girlfriend nearby?
In any case, whatever decision you make, I wish you good luck with this!